I remember having an argument with a friend and his dad, an LAPD officer. The dad put us two teens into a scenario that he’s seen often — you’re a cop and you’ve just busted a local drug lord. There’s cash everywhere in one of the rooms and you’re alone. It hasn’t been counted and “no one” would know that you took some of it. Would you take any of the money?

The answer I gave as a teen is still the answer I would give today. I wouldn’t take a dollar of it. I couldn’t because my conscience would eat at me if I did. I’d rather be honest than look over my shoulder the rest of my life for a little money.

My friend didn’t believe me. My friend chose to take the money and his dad, the cop, was not surprised. He was disappointed, but not surprised.

This year, I spoke in church on Mother’s Day. As one would expect, I focused on the sacred calling that motherhood is; however, since I’m not a mother, I looked at this topic from the perspective of a mother who has experienced much in her life — my mother.

To Where Does a Mother Turn?

On Mother’s Day, one reflects on his or her mother and I’d like to briefly talk about mine and an important lessons she has taught me. I am one of six children to a mother who should be bald now from pulling out her hair (but isn’t) given all the adventures we had while growing up.

My mother was not born into the LDS faith. She was raised in a close-knit family by parents who loved the Lord and her family attended church on Sundays. It was assumed that my mother’s path would follow that of her older siblings and parents. She’d marry a nice Christian boy and settle down so her parents could see them (and future grandchildren) weekly. However, my mother did not choose this path.

In college, she was befriended by an LDS woman who had standards my mother admired. This friend did not drink nor smoke, but was chaste and virtuous. My mother admired the strength of character this friend had and began to ask questions about the restored gospel. My mother had faith in God, but the plan of salvation provided her with answers about who she was, what her purpose here on earth was and where she was going after this life. My mom was insistent to meet with the missionaries and her friend took her to the local institute to find them. That’s where my parents met.

Mom and I in 2010

My mother’s family was shocked that she converted to the gospel and subsequently married a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, AKA a Mormon. This caused a rift in her family, so much so that some did not attend my parents’ wedding at the very institute where my parents met. My mother gave up the strong support of her family because of her unwavering faith in the restored gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Not only did she stay strong in the gospel, but several members of her immediate family followed her example and converted to the gospel. But that came later.

There was a key time in her life when she was a newly married woman, soon-to-be mother and without the support of others she loved since my father’s career would force my family to move often. To whom would she turn to for answers to her many, many questions? My mother turned to stories about women in the scriptures for support since these “friends” would always be with her.

Doctrine & Covenants

When she first got married, my mother took comfort in Emma Hale Smith’s story. Emma was ostracized by her family for dating Joseph Smith. In January 1827, she eloped with Joseph and she clung to the advice from the Old Testament that a wife “should leave [her] mother and father and shall cleave unto [her husband]” (Gen. 2:24). Their marriage was fraught with trials – illnesses, attacks, bankruptcy, imprisonments, legal hearings, constant moves and children dying—but there was also great love. The correspondence between Emma and Joseph proves of their continued devotion to one another with loving words and concern about each other’s welfare. Emma’s love for her husband is reminiscent of a quote shared by President Thomas S. Monson, “Choose your love, love your choice.” (Monson, “Priesthood Power”, April 2011)

Mary's Visit to Elisabeth by Carl Heinrich Bloch

New Testament

A friendship between two woman, Mary and Elisabeth, was also inspirational to my mother. Mary, a young unwed mother, needed the support of a friend and she found refuge in the home of her cousin, Elisabeth. The hostess had hidden herself away in preparation for the arrival of the birth of her son, John, yet welcomed another woman in desperate need of a safe place to stay. Their friendship is often seen as more helpful to Mary than to Elisabeth, but this friendship was not one-sided. What is clear is both women were given what they needed during a time of great trial and blessing. Elisabeth was sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. In Luke, we learn that when Mary arrived at Elisabeth’s home and she “heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost. … [then Elisabeth said to Mary,] Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? (Luke 1:41–43). The Holy Ghost filled Elisabeth with the knowledge that Mary carried the Savior of the World; Mary did not tell her of her pregnancy, the Holy Ghost did.

Another remarkable aspect about Elisabeth is that she showed no malice that the announcement of her child was given to her husband rather than receiving it as Mary did. Elisabeth was humbled enough to play a part in the Lord’s plan. She relays this to Mary when she says regarding herself, “blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.” (Luke 1:45). Elisabeth craved the voice of the Lord more than anything else and she gave Mary that which she needed: solace and love. This briefly described friendship provides instruction for women who are both young and more seasoned – there are ways in which the Saints need to and can provide support for one another through being faithful and responsive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Old Testament

For This Child I Prayed by Elspeth Young

When my mother became a mother, she was far from her family and had many questions. There were other mothers in the neighborhood and ward to help, but my mother looked to the story of Hannah in the Old Testament in how to approach being a mother. Hannah was a wife without any children and was ridiculed by others. Hannah was saddened by this, but did not blame the Lord for this challenge she faced. She saw it as an opportunity to turn to the Lord. She went to the temple and prayed to the Lord regarding her current “affliction”. In her prayer, she covenanted with the Lord that if he would remember her and bless her with a child, she would “give him unto the Lord all the days of his life” (1 Samuel 1:11). Shortly after, Hannah did get pregnant and bore Samuel, a great prophet of the Old Testament. The faith that Samuel’s mother exhibited is a wonderful example of one’s faith and potential because the Lord recognized Hannah was able to be a “righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily [mother which] is far more lasting, far more powerful, far more influential than any earthly position or institution invented by man.” (Beck, “A Mother Heart”, April 2004)

Book of Mormon

As my mother continued her adventures in motherhood, she stumbled into situations she did not expect and blindsided by ones she had not prepared for. This was especially true when it came to the choices her children sometimes made. She stayed up late nights waiting for her teen and young adult children to come home and these dark hours led her to questioning where she had gone wrong. At this time, she turned to the Book of Mormon and the example of Sariah, the mother of Nephi as well as Laman and Lemuel. In the first verse of the Book of Mormon, we learn that Sariah is viewed as a “goodly parent” (1 Nephi 1:1) who was raising a family during a time of affliction.

“Sariah was obligated to move with her husband; there is no evidence that she was less than supportive during the move, but neither is there evidence that she received visions. She seems to have given up her comfortable surroundings and, more important, her kinfolk, without complaint—but giving up her sons was more than she thought she could bear.

The trip back to get the brass plates may have taken more than a week. During the absence of her sons, Sariah mourned for them. Despairing that they were lost, she complained against her husband, saying, “My sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.” (1 Ne. 5:2.)

Lehi and Sariah must have known something about the unrighteousness of their kinsman Laban. Surely Sariah had good cause to worry for the safety of her sons. Lehi comforted her, not by promising that they would not face difficulties in their journeys, but by pointing out that those who stayed in Jerusalem would perish. Then he bore testimony that God would deliver his sons “out of the hands of Laban.” (1 Ne. 5:5.)

It takes great faith to trust not only the Lord, but also those through whom he speaks. Most of us are not prophets but are called upon to recognize the prophets and their messages from God. Sariah bore strong testimony of Lehi’s calling after her sons’ return: “Now I know of a surety that the Lord hath commanded my husband to flee into the wilderness [NOTE that she fled with him before her knowledge was sure]; yea, and I also know of a surety that the Lord hath protected my sons, and delivered them out of the hands of Laban, and given them power whereby they could accomplish the thing which the Lord hath commanded them.” (1 Ne. 5:8.) (Williams & Bowen, “Ordinary People in the Book of Mormon”, Ensign, January 1992)

This mother of six boys raised two prophets to her descendents, but also raised two leaders who denied the importance of the gospel in their lives and lead many children away from the church. There is evidence that Sariah was not a perfect mother, but a human one. She had faults – she would question her husband and sometimes her fears would get the best of her. She also loved the gospel, repented and tried to improve her efforts.

Although Sariah’s words are not chronicled in the Book of Mormon, it is possible to hear her concerns in words of another mother. This woman corresponded with Elder Jeffery R. Holland in our times to express the fears she felt that she didn’t measure up and often made the wrong decision, but her fears were calmed with one thought:

“Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep. It is this realization that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea. It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense.” (Holland, “Because She Is a Mother”, May 1997).

Whether we are parents or not, may we realize that we are not alone in doing the Lord’s work – raising children that are precious to our Heavenly Father. The responsibilities of being a parent “do not provide economic compensation but do provide satisfaction and are eternally significant.” (Cook, “LDS Women Are Incredible”, May 2011). May we use the gospel tools the Lord has provided us with – prayer, scriptures, the temple, a modern-day prophet of God and the gift of the Holy Ghost – to do that which is most precious to Him.

I came across the following quote and, since we just celebrated Mother’s Day, I thought it an appropriate one to share and to add my fervent Amen:

A father can do no greater thing for his children than to let them feel that he loves their mother.
~ President David O. McKay

I had never thought about the two groups selected to worship the newborn Savior of the world until now. After some reflection, I came to realize the differences between these groups symbolize one’s willingness to serve under any circumstance.

A group of kings came from the East, traveled far to discover the reason for a new star in the sky. With them, they provided gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh–gifts to show honor and humility to the recipient: a newborn king, Christ. In the scriptures, we’re not told how they knew to find the Savior, but we are told that in a shared dream they were warned to not report back to Herod. So they adored the Savior and then returned home.

The other group was shepherds that worked locally. After being visited by the host of heaven, these men hastened to the Savior’s side. Their humility was greater than the kings’ humility since they brought no gift–they had none to give.

I am more like a shepherd than a king. I have nothing to give Christ except for my humility and devotion. There are no riches I can give Him. Those are gifts He does not need.

All He desires is that I accept His gift of the atonement and to keep our Father’s commandments to love God and our fellow man as we love ourselves.

I’ve been listening to Handel’s Messiah since it’s Christmas and Bryan and I’ll be attending a sing-along in Downtown LA later this month. The music is wonderful, but today, I heard an aria I’d never really listened to before. It comes right after the ever popular “Hallelujah!” chorus, and it is a Soprano aria based upon my favorite scripture of all time: Job 19:25–26.

25 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:

26 And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

This has been my favorite scripture since I was a teen, and I thought I understood it, but today, I saw another level to it.

What I’ve always appreciated is Job’s unwavering faith in the fact that Christ lives. That Christ will fulfill his role as Redeemer and truly be the Savior of all mankind. Since gaining my testimony, I have believed in the existence of God and Christ. Even when I was not actively going to church, I knew this to be true.

What I didn’t connect with was verse 26 which focuses on who Job is and what is required for him to “see” God. It is impossible for a human man to see God. Because God is perfect and man has sinned, God cannot tolerate our presence, nor would we want to be in His presence. Man must be transformed or transfigured (I’m not sure which) by God in order for man to converse with Him. It has been done (Brother of Jared, Joseph Smith), but that person’s faith must be unwavering. Job had that type of faith and I aspire to it (and fail miserably).

This comes down to the difference between having faith that the Lord lives versus believing that He is the Savior and that each one of his brothers and sisters can be by His side in the latter days. That being said, I guess, I have some serious time kneeling in prayer for this to occur.

Better get started now …

There aren’t too many subjects that are all but guaranteed to make me emotional, but America, patriotism, and those who serve in the Armed Forces are near the top of that list. I have known many who have defended this country and I am awed by their willingness to sacrifice, and the scale of that sacrifice, so that the rest of us can enjoy freedom. “Thank you” is entirely inadequate, but must be said. I am frequently appalled at the way we treat our vets, even today. They richly deserve our highest honors and unwavering gratitude, regardless of whether we approve of the war they are fighting or, indeed, of war in general.

So, to those who have served our country, and by extension me and my family, THANK YOU. I am deeply grateful.

Many couples have one song that puts them in the mood — Bryan and I have over 200 that span genres and decades.

Very early in our courtship, I was inspired to send him a song every day to express my feelings for him. What followed became a catalog of love songs that journaled the range of emotions I, and sometimes we, felt as the love between us grew. These songs have helped remind us that the love we aspire to is eternal in nature.

Since getting married, the week prior to our anniversary, I have sent Bryan seven additional songs to add to our “Love-Song Catalog”. These songs reflect the growth we experience together as well as individually. For this year’s collection, I returned to our courtship year and wanted to tell “our story” through songs. They are:

“Memories” by Ryan Stewart
“In the Waiting Line” by Zero 7
“Taking Chances” by Celine Dion
“Answer” by Sarah MacLachlan
“Feeling Good” by Michael Buble
“Falling for You” by Colbie Caillat
“Love You I Do” by Jennifer Hudson

When I was perhaps five or six years old, my mother took my brother and me shopping at Market Basket (a long-defunct grocery store). My brother, who is five years older than I, wandered off to the pharmacy next door, probably to peruse the books and magazines.

I slipped away from Mom long enough to wander down the candy aisle and stare in awe at all of the different forms and variations in which one could enjoy sugar. For some reason, the U-NO bar caught my fancy and I determined that I must have it. Having no money, I slipped it into my pocket and, trying to saunter casually, strolled past the registers and outside. I hurriedly unwrapped and began eating my ill-gotten gains, and it looked like I was in the clear.

Of course, my brother chose this moment to exit the pharmacy. He came over to me and asked where I had gotten the candy bar, and I, not having worked out a cover story beforehand, blurted out that Mom had bought it for me. Naturally, he went into the store to find said Mom and claim a candy bar of his own.

Thus was I caught red-handed the very first time I shoplifted. Our mother dragged us back into the store and made me confess my pilfering to the cashier. I paid for the candy (with a dime Mom gave me, ironically making my earlier declaration true), and the cashier let me off with a stern warning about the evils of a life of crime.

It was a humiliating and painful lesson, and the experience effectively and efficiently ended my budding criminal career.

One day as I was spending way too much time surfing Facebook, I stumbled into a friend’s page of favorite quotes. Some were pithy while others profound, but there was one that offered me the best advice for an interview I know I will have one day that I need to begin preparing for now.

The advice was given by President David O. McKay, the leader for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the 1950s and 60s (link). He expressed what would occur during the interview that each child of God will have with the Savior prior to Judgment Day. In it, he states to the group of men he was addressing:

Let me assure you, Brethren, that some day you will have a personal … interview with the Savior, Himself. If you are interested, I will tell you the order in which He will ask you to account for your earthly responsibilities.

First, He will request an accountability report about your relationship with your wife. Have you actively been engaged in making her happy and ensuring that her needs have been met as an individual?

Second, He will want an accountability report about each of your children individually. He will not attempt to have this for simply a family stewardship but will request information about your relationship to each and every child.

Third, He will want to know what you personally have done with the talents you were given in the pre-existence.

Fourth, He will want a summary of your activity in your Church assignments. He will not be necessarily interested in what assignments you have had, for in his eyes the home teacher and a mission president are probably equals, but He will request a summary of how you have been of service to your fellowmen in your Church assignments.

Fifth, He will have no interest in how you earned your living, but if you were honest in all your dealings.

Sixth, He will ask for an accountability on what you have done to contribute in a positive manner to your community, state, country and the world.

From this, I am reminded that what we focus on in this life may not be what the Lord focuses on. Therefore, it might be time re-evaluate what we spend our time and efforts on in order to align our concerns to be more like the Lord’s. By doing so, we will find peace and solace within our lives and be of a great benefit to those we love.

Years ago as I was moving out on my own, I had the daunting yet exciting task of purchasing my own bed — not a hand-me-down, but a brand new bed I had selected. I was beside myself!

So, I went to a store with a large selection of mattresses and tried out every bed on the showroom floor.

The salesmen tried to help direct me, but I was determined to find out what type of bed I wanted — not one that had been deemed good enough for me by someone else. After a few hours of going back and forth between too many choices, I picked out the perfect mattress. I was so proud to finalize the sale, but exhausted because I didn’t realize how difficult it was to make the “right” choice for me.

Flash forward to ten years later.

The aforementioned bed has lost it’s “spring-i-ness”. Bryan and I wake up every morning on separate sides of the bed clutching the edges so we don’t want to fall into the black hole that is the center of the bed. A few weeks ago, we accepted the inevitable: we need a new mattress.

So we waited for the holiday weekend for great sale prices and tons of time to find that perfect mattress. We did this based on my prior experience spending H-O-U-R-S to find the right bed.

So, prepped with full bellies and enthusiasm, we go to a department store to test out every bed they have.

We try out a super firm bed first — too hard.

Next, we try out a medium firm bed — too soft.

So, we turn our attention to the memory foam beds that profess to not rock your boat — too pricey. (We’re still in sticker shock!)

Then, I see in the distance a mirage — a high mattress with a small pillow-top located in the “Firm Mattress” section. We make our way over to it. I climb up into the bed. It feels good. The question is does it feel good for us.

Bryan then joins me. We turn to each other and SMILE — it’s just right!

We’ve found the right mattress and it only took four flops to do so.

It’s the simple things in life, like finding the perfect mattress for a good price within four tries, that make us feel like we’re winners, just like Goldilocks.

Rodney R Fuller, circa 1985

For some reason, I’ve been thinking about my brother Rodney. He’s born nine years before I was and as far as I can tell, my major caretaker when I was a wee lass. His nickname for me was “Poops” — I’ll give you one guess what I did to deserve that moniker.

Rodney isn’t strong in my memory the way he is for the three older kids (K, V & lil’ D). He was an integral part of their growing up, whereas I was quite the afterthought and an annoying one at that. I wasn’t even a teen when he went on his mission, but when he returned, I enjoyed spending time with him which he didn’t often appreciate.

To me, he seemed so cosmopolitan partly because he had been on three of the world’s continents (he was born in Europe, grew up in the States and served his mission in South America). Overall, it was his inquisitive, impulsive nature that made him so interesting. He would “borrow” the family car and go see the sunrise in Joshua Tree and then turn around to see the sunset in Santa Monica. One time, he wanted to get a specific photo, so at 10 p.m., he started driving to San Francisco so he was there the next morning to get the shot. He got out of the car, took the shot, got back in the car, drove right back to L.A. and was home in time for dinner. Oh, the miles he put on that blue Honda Wagon! He’d return from his trip with his left arm burnt to a crisp, his right arm pale as ash and not tell us about it; rather, he’d turn on his favorite TV show and put his feet up for a few hours.

What I remember most about Rodney was that he LOVED movies. One summer, he and I went to every new movie on opening day. Rodney would limit his food budget so that he had sufficient funds to see these first-run films. It didn’t matter who was in it, what it was rated or what the topic was, he wanted to see them all! He rarely loved them, but he loved being able to discuss with others the merits or lack thereof of each film.

The last time I remember seeing Rodney was the weekend that Forrest Gump opened. I didn’t get a chance to chat with him about the movie, but I’m grateful that this was the last film we saw together rather than Police Academy 26. Every time I come across aspects of this film — from the movie stars to the “profound” quotes to a feather floating in the wind — it reminds me of my brother.

Rodney died in the fall of 2001. He had an undiagnosed heart defect that made his heart give out twenty years before it should have. Because his death was so sudden, no one was given a chance to say goodbye to him. However, I’m grateful for our last shared interaction. The fact that this film became infused in our culture made me realize that life really is like the box of chocolates. I didn’t know when I last saw him that I wouldn’t see him again. I’m surprised at how often I’m blessed with the opportunity — or perfect chocolate, if you will — to remember a brother I miss dearly.

I love you, Rodney.

If there’s someone you can talk to
Someone no one can replace -

If there’s someone you can laugh with,
’till the tears run down your face -

If there’s someone you can turn to
When you need a helping hand -

If there’s someone you can count on,
To advise and understand -

If there’s someone you can sit with,
And not need to say a word -

If there’s someone you can trust,
To keep each confidence she’s heard -

If there’s someone you can think of,
As each year comes to an end,

Then you’re a very lucky person,
For you’ve found an eternal friend.

“But you’re so intelligent …”

Over the last few months, this one unfinished statement has rung in my mind. It is based on a very brief conversation I had with a dear friend regarding the issue of gay marriage. I don’t support the practice of it, whereas my friend does. There are very clear religious and sociological reasons why I refuse to support this cause célèbre, but that’s beyond the scope of this particular blog post. What I want to explore is the bias the “intelligence community” has against those with Latter-day Saint religious convictions.

I believe there is a God. He is my Heavenly Father. He loves me, as he loves all of His children, which entails the entire human race. Because God is a loving father, he desires that His children live with Him after this life. In order for that to occur, His children must be perfect like He is (Matthew 5:48). This requirement of His is impossible to achieve. Because our Father knows this is an insurmountable feat, he provided for us a Savior to redeem the children of men and atone for their sins.

This testimony that I hold so dear is questionable to many within the communities in which I interact — work, school, and neighborhood. For them, the fact that I am respectful, eloquent, and well-educated should prevent me from having what they have deemed peculiar beliefs. What they don’t realize is how equitable and loving the precepts of my religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (AKA the Mormons), actually are.

In an effort to dispel what it means to be LDS, I’d like to share two documents with you. The first is the Articles of Faith for my spiritual beliefs. These were written by Joseph Smith in 1842 in response to a Chicago newspaper reporter desiring to know what Mormons really believe. Within this document, there is no statement regarding my religion requiring me to bear 8 children, serve a mission, pay tithing or be anti-gay; however, the eleventh article does state that, “[w]e claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.”

In modern American society, it is clear that fewer people are worshiping God, and are instead following the desires of their own hearts. Because of that, there has been an increase in intolerance towards religious individuals. (I find it quite ironic that a country founded on a desire for religious tolerance can no longer tolerate those who are religious.) These individuals who lack religious tolerance benefit in every aspect of their lives from their forefathers’ struggle to establish a better life and stronger country, and I would venture to guess that their ancestors had religious beliefs that guided them through this process. But that is lost now, in an effort to make everyone happy and to feel welcome.

However, God is not interested in making everyone feel happy by letting them do whatever they want. He wants them to follow His commandments, which were first given to Adam and most notably to Moses, so God’s children can achieve eternal joy and return to be with Him again. The ten commandments (Exodus 20:2–17) given to the Israelites seemed pretty clear, and yet we live in a society where we worship false idols, break the Sabbath day, commit adultery, and fail to honor our parents. If we continue to fail to keep these basic commandments, then how will we ever be able to receive more understanding of who God is and what He desires for us?

This battle between the religious and sectarians is not new, as discussed by Elder Russell M. Nelson, an LDS apostle, at the World Parliament of Religions back in 1993. This document helps those who have a variety of religious beliefs understand that they are not alone in the concerns they have about the spread of this laical pandemic. Given that this speech was made sixteen years ago, I would venture to guess that there is a higher degree of secularness in the world, particulary in the U.S., and that those of us with strong religious beliefs will have to fight more often for our right to worship “Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience” because the majority of our society have chosen to worship irreligion.

Christiane and I had a very interesting conversation the other day regarding a couple of cultural practices commonly engaged in by young children in the Church (encouraged by the adults, of course) — bearing their testimonies in Sacrament meeting, and partaking of the Sacrament before they are baptized.

For me, the issue regarding the bearing of a testimony comes down to just what is (and is not) a testimony and the reasons for expressing it publicly over the pulpit. Having a parent whisper into a child’s ear and then, if they aren’t frozen like a deer caught in headlights, listening to the child regurgitate it (often loudly and unintelligibly) into the microphone just does not constitute the “bearing of a testimony” for me. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for any child under age eight to have a testimony, nor am I saying that no child under eight should be allowed to bear it publicly. I’m  saying that the testimony they bear should be their own — and not many children  are going to acquire a testimony of their own at that young an age — and they should be able to do so unassisted.

The First Presidency addressed this issue in a letter to all Church members in May of 2002, which was read in Sacrament meeting. It said, in part:

Parents and teachers should help children learn what a testimony is and when it is appropriate for them to express it. It may be best to have younger children learn to share their testimonies at such times as family home evening or when giving talks in Primary until they are old enough to do so in a fast and testimony meeting.

Amen.

As for young children partaking of the Lord’s Supper, my feeling is that children that have not yet been baptized probably shouldn’t participate — there’s no point in renewing covenants that haven’t yet been made. On the few occasions when I’ve discussed it with adult members of the Church, the argument is usually raised that children are given the Sacrament from an early age so they will develop the custom or habit of taking it. Personally, I don’t believe the Sacrament should be taken by rote, but rather should be  approached with personal prayer and contemplation each and every time. If anything, habitualizing the event seems to me to be counter to the very spirit of the ordinance. And wouldn’t having to wait until after baptism make it all the more special and further underscore its importance to the child?

Christiane and I discussed these two cultural oddities and explored the idea of disallowing both for our own children. I won’t speak for her, but my personal conclusions are:

As much as I’d like to do so, I don’t know whether it’s really possible to force one’s children to abstain from bearing their “testimony” in Sacrament meeting — between well-meaning Primary teachers who “challenge” their classes to get up en masse and bear their testimonies, and the pressure of their parents and classmates to go along, the expectation to do so is just too great. It would take a complete shift in attitude and approach for this to change. (It seems to me that many in the Church have over the course of years come to a serious misunderstanding of what a testimony is and the purpose for bearing it, and our “open mic” format seems to encourage tangents and travelogues — but that’s a topic for a post of its own.)

As for preventing our children from taking the Sacrament until after they are baptized, my preference is that they abstain, but I’m also pretty sure this is not a battle I’ll want to fight week after week if they throw fits over it. I suppose we will have to revisit this topic when we actually have children. My desire is that they treat the Sacrament with reverence and respect, however that is accomplished.

It appears that Christiane and I are alternating posts, so I guess it’s my turn.

Much has been blogged and reported on the ongoing Prop 8 controversy and I feel no need to repeat everything here, but I will post if I think I have something new to add, or some personal experience to share.

There is one thing about the stance of the opposition to Prop 8 that I find interesting, but first a bit of background. During the campaign, the Yes-on-8 side claimed among other things that if Prop 8 didn’t pass, the free-speech rights of the religious would be threatened, churches could lose their tax-exempt status, and the homosexual lifestyle would be taught in public schools as equally normal and acceptable as heterosexual marriage. The pro-gay side claimed that these were all lies, that none of these things would or even could happen.

Of course, now that the proposition has passed, the pro-gay lobby wants the tax-exempt status of the LDS Church revoked, and it goes without saying that they don’t want the views of church-going folks to count in equal measure with their own, discounting them wholesale as old-fashioned, ignorant, intolerant (or even hateful and bigoted), misguided, mistaken, and/or irrelevant.

What I find especially notable is that, on the one hand they claim that there is absolutely nothing wrong with their lifestyle, that it is good and they are not ashamed of it, yet when the public is told that school children will be exposed to it, they say, “That’s not true!” and “That’s just a scare tactic!”. I would expect them to say, “What’s wrong with that?”, but they don’t. They claim that a small minority of religious fanatics was responsible for getting Prop 8 passed and that mainstream Americans no longer have a problem with homosexuality, but in fact their response demonstrates that they know this really isn’t true.